Wednesday, October 4, 2017

He Put A Ring On It, But When Can I Take It Off? 


"Don't you take that ring off!" My elderly aunt scolded me as I was about to twist off and preserve my precisely-cut diamonds while preparing to devour a messy meal. It barely pinched past my knuckle before settling back into a secure position... 

What about when I'm cleaning raw meat? 
Washing dishes? 
Shampooing my hair? 
Working out?

Her matter-of-fact rebuttal: "Wear gloves!"

Out of all the marriage tips I've received — "Keep God first", "Talk it out", "Stay in love" — none of them resonated as much. Too cliché and apparent. But on a random day, just shy of 6 weeks as a newlywed, I was given an order that I immediately obeyed.

I'd come to my own conclusion about when it would be appropriate to take off my ring—anytime I didn't want it to get dirty or damaged. The consensus was that my band would stay put under any circumstance. The rock, though, had to be protected against all odds. Guarded from dried up soap and lotion residue. Right-hand only eating for finger foods. Inspected in natural lighting on the hour, every hour. You get the point... 

Borderline obsessed with keeping this expensive symbol of love intact, I quickly realized that, like my marriage, my ring must endure some hardships in order to prove its value. 

Someone not as wise as my aunt told me that getting married doesn't change anything. Obviously, it changed my name. But marriage is also changing the way I desire my husband. Our four-year relationship has sustained the conditions of long distance through monthly and annual deployments. However, our first separation while married has activated some unfamiliar feelings. Unlike most couples, we aren't guaranteed the comfort of daily physical affection. Or the excitement of a lunch break check-in. He's often in a different country, functioning on a different time zone. And I'm at home, striving to stay productive while eagerly counting the days until his overseas responsibilities are fulfilled (also utilizing his return dates as deadlines). For an ambitious dreamer and a habitual world traveler, this works.

As an Author/Editor/Publisher/Educator, one would wonder how I'd even prioritize being a Wife. It's simple: the occupational titles define what I do; the latter defines who I now am. 

I've been known to smother myself in my passion(s). It was much easier and understandable as a single woman. As a spouse, the dedication to my craft is presently a little unbalanced. My husband has always supported me and encouraged me to live my dream, literally since the first day we met. Last month, he jokingly reprimanded me for not remaining disciplined with a 30-day social media fast. Instead of writing, I was scrolling up and down timelines, supposedly seeking inspiration for ideas. Two hours later, my phone was still cradled in my hand and I fell asleep next to a fully-charged laptop. Because we're both learning how to profit from our respective habits/addictions/weaknesses, this type of failure nurtures our competitive spirits and amplifies the satisfaction of overcoming difficult challenges, together. 

Fortunately, our unusual union allows us to become originators of what a healthy marriage should entail; every reconnection offers fresh emotions for us both to unpack and enjoy. Likewise, we have the privilege of getting creative with our expression (no choice when marrying a writer, duh), as well as the option to travel and experience other far-away areas when home just seems a bit mundane. Time spent apart is a mechanism for strengthening our communication and it also gives our minds the freedom to process what we appreciate most about each other. I am extremely appreciative of my husband's ability to listen and retain information, whether important or useless, paying attention to me and absorbing everything that I care to acknowledge. I am admittedly forgetful and aiming to be less selfish. A battle with career-related perfectionism constantly stunts my personal growth. Still, he put a ring on it.

Beyond the legal paperwork and the professional pictures, my ring is a welcomed reminder that I belong to a man who claimed me as his prize, recharged my purpose by altering my identity, and granted me a vow of never-ending companionship. Removing such a gift from my finger every time I'm trying to avoid harm to its appearance feels very vain. Thinking out loud: Would scheduling bi-weekly cleanings with the jeweler be vain too? Perhaps that's another rhetorical question undeserving of an answer...

Nonetheless, this post serves to formally introduce myself as Mrs. Lewis (smiles and waves). Furthermore, to also inform readers that I will continue to publish under my maiden name (Liltera R. Williams). I've been full of words since my life completely changed on 7.15.17. And this rush of creativity is suddenly beginning to spill over onto my WIPs (Works in Progress). I promise they will be worth the wait.

#WriterGrind®


Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Shots Fired... Where Do We Go From Here?



"If our stars don't shine in the darkness, 
where do we go from here? 
Do we hold onto the dream regardless? 
Where do we go from here?"


Art imitates life. Life imitates art...

Shots Fired, a lurid 10-hour mini series, premiered in late March with a clear agenda of depicting racial tension from multiple sides of the spectruma young, white male (Jesse Carr) killed by a rookie black cop (Joshua Beck/Tristan Wilds), a young, black male (Joey Campbell) killed by a rich white man, grieving mothers (Alicia Carr/Jill Hennessy, Shameeka Campbell/DeWanda Wise), an opportunistic Governor (Patricia Eamons/Helen Hunt), a privileged donor and businessman (Arlen Cox/Richard Dreyfuss), and every eyewitness affected by the alarming threats and unlawful repercussions of identifying themselves by sharing key details surrounding two interconnected murders. 

Creators/Husband-Wife Duo, Gina Prince-Bythewood and Reggie Rock Bythewood were inspired by the discouraging outcome of Trayvon Martin's case, as well as various consecutive cases that resulted in unjust verdicts. Serving as writers and directors of the series, they sought out to design a narrative that would allow viewers to gain insight on how everyone involved in such events expresses feelings of remorse, or remains unapologetic while attempting to justify their actions in order to avoid a guilty ruling. 

Instead of providing an overall summary of the show and spoiling the experience for those who missed out on this necessary thematic offering, I'll focus on what made it so monumental. Starting with the uniquely-constructed storyline.

Hothead Detective, Ashe Akino (Sanaa Lathan) is paired with DOJ Prosecutor, Preston Terry (Stephan James) and together they are tasked with the responsibility of investigating Jesse's murder. However, by episode/hour number three, details regarding Joey's overlooked murder emerge and the web of clues quickly becomes a bit more tangled. Lieutenant Breeland and Sheriff Platt of fictional town Gate Station (obeisance to the memory of Jordan Davis) soon begin to display suspicious behavior, leading Ashe and Preston to eventually unveil the corruption behind an almost-successful political cover-up.

Plot distractions, such as Ashe's heated custody battle with her daughter's father and Preston's interracial fling with the Governor's assistant, soften the excruciating pain brought on by the repetitious cycle of police brutality. The series also includes various references to the necessity of spiritual healing, as Pastor Janae (Aisha Hinds) passionately spreads in-your-face gospel to angry members of the community. 

Despite the vital message delivered within the framework of this series, after growing accustomed to many unresolved cases, we have reasonably desensitized ourselves to avoid the heartache and disappointment of being failed once more by the court system. When news of another slain black teen breaks, we are already prepared for the biased, one-sided aftermath. But when a show like this one presents the truth so accurately, with vivid intentions, we are charged to stop and reflect. We must not allow fear to control our desire to aptly respond to immoral conduct. With no holds barred, "We need to be active participants in the pursuit of justice (Pastor Janae in Hour 10)."

Maybe a year from now there will be a shift in our nation's discriminatory makeup and the question "Where do we go from here?" won't seem so impossible to answer...

Previously aired episodes of Shots Fired are available for viewing on Hulu and Fox.

#WriterWednesday #WriterGrind®

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

13 Reasons Why You Should Watch 13 Reasons Why


*Some spoilers included...*

I finished watching the entire 13 Reasons Why series on Netflix in seven days. Thirteen one-hour episodes, four of them binged-watched, back-to-back. After reading multiple articles about why this series should be removed and no longer made available for streaming, as well as eavesdropping on my students' discussions, I decided to find out for myself where all of the concern and fiery opinions were stemming from. 

Episode 1 (Tape 1, Side A) introduces Clay Jensen, a quirky high school sophomore, who has a strange box delivered to his doorstep. He opens the box to reveal a decorated variety of cassette tapes. Upon first listen, the series' protagonist, Hannah Baker, is introduced. However, Hannah is dead. She committed suicide. Her scenes are presented in flashbacks. Of course, Clay freaks out, especially when on the initial tape, Hannah mentions that she's going to share thirteen reasons why she ended her life... and that everyone who anonymously receives the box had something to do with her decision. The episodes thereafter explain each person's relationship with Hannah. 

So, what's the inciting incident? Hannah's reputation is ruined when a false rumor is spread regarding her involvement with Justin Foley. She soon becomes known as "easy" when an inappropriate picture, taken by Justin, is transmitted to her peers' and classmates' cellphones. The ultimate effect of bullying is immediately identified as the central idea of this series. Below, I've pinpointed thirteen reasons why it's worth watching.

1. Suicide isn't racist.

Before I delved into this series, I stumbled across numerous posts relevant to its public uproar, while scrolling through my social media news feeds. Some were valid; others were distorted. A particular Facebook friend posted thoughts about how the series does not accurately depict African-American high school students. The majority of the characters are products of privilege, but the scenarios and emotions expressed throughout are universal. Suicide is a voluntary act that is a result of one's mental instability. Rather than color, it is a matter of two choices: darkness or light. 

2. It's narrated masterfully.

Hannah's story is narrated from her own point-of-view as the details of her "reasons" are displayed on the screen in each episode. A portion of the plot unfolds via her voice on the tapes and then craftily shifts from past events to present day, showing how those to blame are trying to avoid the possibility of becoming primary suspects in her death.

3. The truth is unbelievable.

By episode 5 (Tape 3, Side A), key parts of Hannah's painful existence are divulged, including: getting slapped by her best friend and being exposed once again by a stalker. More rumors, more heartache. As the viewer is invited deeper into Hannah's story, secrets about other characters are also disclosed. 

4. Some scenes are difficult to watch.

Hannah's suicide is actually shown on-screen, vividly and grotesquely. There's blood. Lots of it. Per a PSA that was recently added to the conclusion of the series, the creators of the show intended to make viewers uncomfortable. Not only does it allow us to face the reality of such an unfortunate fate; it offers an opportunity for us to observe the condition of someone who has reached a point of no return. 

5. Teen girls don't know how to deal with being sexually assaulted.

At a party, Hannah discreetly witnesses her ex-best friend getting raped and she later deals with the guilt of not intervening. In episode 12, Hannah is raped by the same person who raped her ex-best friend.

6. If you're popular, you're safe.

The guy who raped both Hannah and her ex-best frienda wealthy, star athleteremains protected and unpunished by series' end.  
  
7. Parents really just don't understand.

Signs of Hannah's turmoil were not exactly noticeable; however, they were present. She didn't trust her parents enough to confide in them and they were oblivious to the idea that something was terribly wrong.

8. Educators and counselors don't either.

On many occasions, Hannah's teachers had an opportunity to halt the bullying and public shame. They didn't raise their concerns until Liberty High School was being investigated and sued by Hannah's parents. 

The school counselor, Mr. Porter, is the subject of episode 13. Hannah admits to being raped, yet he does not assist in a way that is justifiable. While Hannah exhibits obvious fear and embarrassment, Mr. Porter tells her to just move onthe last blow to her dwindling will to live. He recognized the error only after he was confronted by Clay. By then, it was too late.

Recently, one of my students attempted suicide. As her teacher, keenly aware of her severe depression, I offered words of encouragement to deter her from any fatal thoughts, but my empathy could not serve as an adequate method of comfort when the psychological pressure became too overwhelming. She was hospitalized for about a week before returning to school. Alive. Smiling. With an occasional attitude, because deep down, the pain was still nagging, threatening to interrupt her temporary happiness. Ever since her failed attempt, I've made a conscious effort to talk to her. To ask how she's feeling. Lately, she's done most of the talking. And I just listen. Sometimes, that's all she needs in order to survive...

9. Unexpected death teaches us a lesson about regret.

Every nemesis associated with Hannah's death suffered through periods of "what if". From pointless arguments to unintentional insults. They all wished they could change something about their influence on someone who was irretrievably damaged.

10. Friends... how many of us have them?

Hannah's desire to be accepted by her peers impacted her capacity to forgive and forget, but the gesture wasn't equally mutual. With the exception of Clay, every subject's encounter with Hannah was extremely cruel and self-serving.

11. You'll start making a better effort to pay attention.

Whether you are a parent, relative, friend or mentor of a teen, this series will heighten your regard for their well-being. It has surely caused me to be even more inquisitive. 

12. Expression of love becomes more urgent.

A mother's grief is the most devastating aspect of 13 Reasons Why. Throughout each episode, Hannah's mother is determined to solve the mystery of her daughter's death. She rummages through Hannah's belongings, searching for an inch of a clue and bombards the school grounds almost daily to demand answers in the process of reminiscing about interactions with her lone child. Hannah's father is just as affected, yet he is not controlled by feelings of anguish. Mrs. Baker, on the other hand, is desperate for a sense of peace and she also wants someone to pay for Hannah's self-inflicted departure.

13. "I cost a girl her life because I was afraid to love her." - Clay Jensen

Although Clay falls short in his plan to seek revenge on Hannah's behalf, his last good deed suffices for her pre-recorded confessions. He passes on the tapes to Mr. Porter and charges him to make the right choice in sharing them with the proper sources, despite the fact that the school is under scrutiny and on the verge of being legally reprimanded for negligence. 

Clay's hidden love for Hannah turns out to be his character flaw. If he had been more confident and tenacious, Hannah may have possibly discovered a viable purpose for sticking around. She makes it audibly known, though, that Clay does not belong on the tapes because he did not deliberately set out to hurt her. 

The series ends with the subjects of the tapes being interviewed and one of them resorting to suicide, also. It leaves us on the edge of speculation, wondering about the final verdict and if Hannah's account of her own death was indeed accurate. Hopefully, Season 2 (yes, the series has been renewed) will be just as intriguing and informative. Will you be watching? 

#WriterGrind®

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