This post is in no way meant to offend anyone who may be able to personally apply any of the thoughts mentioned below.
Every day, I'm reminded that I'm black. My chinky eyes, light skin tone and proper English don't diminish my race any less. Yes, I'm black and I'm proud... but sometimes I'm embarrassed too.
I recently came to the realization that I may never be accepted for who I really am. Someone will always expect me to act a certain way because of where I'm from or who I may know. But I'm not just another "nigga".
Although I was primarily raised in Jacksonville's Arlington area (what some would consider a decent atmosphere), I spent most of my youth years in a poverty stricken neighborhood on the Southside of Duval County, surrounded by drug activity, violence and illiteracy. I had big dreams of becoming more than a product of my environment and I was determined to succeed.
I graduated from high school... most of my family members did not. I attained my Bachelor's degree in 3 1/2 years... most of my classmates from high school are still working on theirs 6 years later. I receive daily praise for my accomplishments from family members and random strangers. I'm as proud of myself as they are, but the goals that I set and desires of my heart mean absolutely nothing if I fail to improve my own community.
Where I'm from, the "N" word is reiterated more frequently than apologies. It has sadly become an evil slang term used amongst the youth of our neighborhoods and even "mature" adults who lack understanding about the word's true meaning. I'm deeply saddened by the notion every time I hear it.
My goal is to someday be a part of the movement that breeds educated scholars who can read as fluently as they curse and write as accurately as they boast negative remnants of the "N" word. As I strive to eliminate vulgarity and enhance vocabulary, I can only hope that others will care enough to join me in my quest to make a difference.
*Music is Life... Poetry is Love*