In the words of Keri Hilson, "every woman has a breaking point"... but exactly how long it takes us to crack is an ongoing ambiguous debate.
I conducted a survey this week and solicited responses for the following questions:
What is your definition of cheating? Which specific cheating actions do you believe are/are not forgivable? Have you ever been cheated on? If so, what was your initial reaction?
Based on my compiled data and my own distinctive beliefs, I was able to efficiently produce an authentic definition for the act of cheating: "Intentionally committing a deceitful act, including physical and/or emotional forms of lustful encounters, that will knowingly invite irreconcilable feelings of humiliation, anger, or pain for your significant other."
I have personally experienced the backlash of unwanted discoveries and hidden secrets. Fortunately and unfortunately, my female intuition forced me to pay attention to common signs of fraudulent and conniving activity. Although I was often warned about the cliché assertion, "when you go looking for something you just might find it", I was never resolved enough to understand it.
I faithfully dedicated myself to someone who was undeserving of my affection for almost 7 years. Foolishly naive and suffering from certain aspects of denial, I decided to cope with the agony of betrayal because, I thought, he loved me.
There's a thin line between being forgiving and being foolish. Too many of us women are teetering on the tight rope. Once a woman decides to forgive, she sincerely expects to be reimbursed for all of the heartache and suffering she chose to endure. It should be noted that men can’t handle the strain of being deceived. As soon as they’re crossed, it’s immediately “on to the next one”. But when a man constantly takes advantage of a woman's nature to be lenient, despite the difficulty, and grant second, third, and infinite chances, he will eventually reap the consequences of his dealings.
I am eagerly expecting most men to react with valid rebuttals of equal unfaithful recollections. However, it is my hope that every reader will attempt to completely comprehend my overall perspective. It is evident that men and women were contrarily created to carry out differing roles and responsibilities. Even Steve Harvey admits that "women can't do what men do and expect to still be treated like a lady". I totally concur.
The point that I'm aiming to make is that, because cheating is such a controversial topic, the male and female species may never be able to reach a concrete agreement on what constitutes forgiveness and how that ultimately affects the remainder of someone's life, male or female.
When a cheater realizes his or her mistake, it is often too late for reconciliation, but every situation is different. Furthermore, it remains clear that without the acquisition of willed effort, persistent dedication, and a true commitment to restoring the initial elements of interest that catapulted the attraction, love will undoubtedly get lost in the shuffle of apologetic expressions. Sad to say, many men (and women) aren't built for the challenge of redemption.
In conclusion, I pose the following questions:
Is it possible to regain trust in a relationship once the act of cheating has occurred? How does one overcome the fear of being cheated on again after deciding to forgive and start anew? Once a cheater, always a cheater... or can a cheater change?
Instead of offering to share my own answers for these disputable interrogatories, as always, I'll let my readers be the judge...
*Music is Life... Poetry is Love*